For well over a century women have suffered under the burden of penis envy, one of many suppositions upon which Sigmund Freud built a career. Does anyone know the size of Sigmund? is a question many have asked. Was it small? did he suffer from penis envy?
Fortunately, an old colleague of mine from years past, offered the following:
It has been reported that in Vienna in 1895, Sigmund Freud led a gathering of prominent physicians, mesmerists and psychologists, many of them women, and, to lend emphasis to his theory, disrobed. The size of him could not be reported in standard units. However, several women fainted. Smelling salts were administered to a number of servants, one of whom, a Belgium lass, ultimately ran screaming from the building. The men sat in stunned silence. How filled with envy they were one can only imagine.
A warning was issued on the sidewalks and streets, for to scare the horses and frighten the children was considered the gravest of errors.
Tranquility returned to Vienna, eventually, no one daring to contemplate the
size of Sigmund again.
–Dr. Hartleystein, Memoirs of Vienna